Without Darkness There Is No Light
by McDayDreaming
Summary: Mark survives the plane crash, but not without lasting physical and emotional scars. Pre9.01 AU. Set several years after.Oneshot


A/N I hate that Mark is dead, so I wanted to wrie someting where he wasn't. This is what came out. Tell me what you think.

Without Darkness There Is No Light

Today had been a great day for Mark Sloan. It had been filled with laughter, smiles hugs and kisses. It was his weekend with the kids and he loved every minute of it. He had spent the day pushing swings, going down slides and chasing them around the park as fast as his less than pristine ticker would let him. Then they went to Olive Garden for supper. He'd made a bigger mess with his pasta than they had and neither of them were going to let him live it down anytime soon.

After that they cuddled on the couch and watched a couple Disney movies. Sofia was older than Alex but she still liked spending time with her sister and appreciated cuddling with Daddy. He knew it was asking a lot but hoped that would never change, because in that moment life was perfect. When the credits rolled Sofia read to them from a Judy Blume novel and then it was time for lights out.

As Mark fell asleep his heart was filled with nothing but happy memories and love and gratitude for his family. He could only hope that that would be enough to keep the nightmares at bay. Unfortunately before long he was back in the woods watching Lexie slip away again. He could see himself telling her he would always be in love with her, but it wasn't enough. It was too late.

Eleven year old Sofia Robbin Sloan Torres woke abruptly to her father's screams. Though her door was closed she could hear his words clearly. "NO! PLEASE LEXIE DON'T LEAVE ME! She threw off the covers and raced across the hall to his room as fast as her legs could carry her. By the time she got there her dad was awake and crying uncontrollably. He was soaked in sweat and his eyes looked haunted. She climbed onto the bed and pulled him as close as she could. "Dad it's Sof. I'm right here! Look at me! I love you and I'm not going anywhere! Neither is Alex, Madre or Mom. We all love you SO much and we're not leaving you." He hadn't responded, but the tears had slowed and he looked a little more relaxed. So she fell silent and continued to hold him.

Neither noticed when Arizona arrived. Mark's screams wafted over to the house next door along with the cool night air. Upon hearing his distress she rushed over to comfort the man she'd come to love like a brother. Callie was usually the one to console Mark on nights like this but she was on call at the hospital, and the peds surgeon couldn't let him suffer alone with the kids. Sofia flinched when she heard her mom ask, "Can you give me few a minutes with your dad?

Sofia remained still for a minute then kissed his cheek and said" I love you daddy" Unfazed by the lack of response she slid off the bed and headed down downstairs to make the obligatory after nightmare hot chocolate.

Immediately Arizona took her daughter's place wrapping one arm around Mark's waist and using her other hand to brush away his still falling tears. "Hey sweetheart, can you look at me please?" She waited until his blue-green eyes focused on her instead of looking through her "I know you miss Lexie. I can only imagine what you're going through, and I know it always gets harder as the anniversary of the crash approaches; but I also know Lexie didn't leave you. You have a guardian angel, and she'll be waiting when your time comes, but it's not your time yet. You were meant to live; Sofia and Alex need their father, and. Callie needs her best friend. So does Derek. Zola needs her Uncle, and Mark you're like a brother to me now. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I love you." The bond that had formed between the two over the past few years was obvious, but mostly unspoken as the plastic surgeon wasn't overly expressive with anyone except his children.

Arizona's heartfelt words caused new emotion to slam into Mark like a wave, bringing with it more tears. She just held him close while he cried

After a few minutes the tears subsided and he took a few deep shuddering breaths. When he trusted himself to speak he said, "You're right. I love you too. Thanks for being here for me."

The blonde smiled, "No problem. Nightmares are evil. I had one tonight too."

A rush of guilt washed over him. "God Arizona I'm sorry! I know this time of year isn't easy for you either and I haven't even asked how you're doing lately" he said with a fleeting glance toward her prosthesis. "I'm such an idiot!"

"It's ok. I'm ok, really, and I know you're going through a lot right now."

"That's no excuse! I want you to know I'm here for you."

"Thanks." A comfortable silence fell between them until Arizona broke it. "We should go have hot chocolate before Sofia gets into mischief down there."

Mark grinned and extricated himself from their embrace extending a hand to Arizona.

"I'm just gonna change and check on Alex and I'll be right down. " He quickly pulled on another pair of pyjamas and made his way to his youngest daughter's room. She looked angelic with her blonde locks fanned around her. She would always be his little miracle. With Lexie gone he thought Sofia would never have any siblings. So when Callie and Arizona asked him to be the father of their second child he answered without hesitation. To the untrained eye the girl looked like she was asleep, but Mark knew better. She was just trying to block out the bad stuff. "Alexandra Caroline Robbin Sloan Torres I know you're awake. "I'm ok now, I promise"

"Daddy, come lay with me."

He couldn't say no to the barely seven year old with eyes that matched his own.

She snuggled closer and her right hand found its way to the long scars running down his chest tracing them with her finger. "Daddy I'm sorry your heart hurts for Lexie, but I'm glad you're her with us."

The enormity of her words caught him off guard. He blinked back tears he didn't know he had left, cleared his throat and said "me too sweetie, me too! When did you get so smart?"

She shrugged and smiled brightly sporting dimples just like her mom's

Mark's tickled her, the sound of her laugh making his heart soar. He looked up and saw Arizona and Sofia standing in the doorway holding cups of hot chocolate. "Come join the party."

Arizona handed Mark a steaming mug while Sofia handed Alex a plastic cup with a lid and straw. "It should be cool enough for you to drink now." The two of them chatted animatedly with each other and their parents about anything and everything they could think of. When the cups were empty and it was time for bed they protested loudly.

"Ok, what if we all go to my bed?" They reluctantly agreed." Mom what do you say? Do you wanna stay?"

Arizona smiled, "What the heck, I've always been a fan of sleepovers!"

Mark lay in the middle of the bed with Sofia on one side and Alex on the other. Arizona took off her prosthesis and squished between him and Sofia. His feelings were much the same as they had been the first time he was on the verge of sleep that night, but this time he was sure his dreams would be peaceful. The pain of losing Lexie was immense. He missed her every minute of every day, but for now he was right where he needed to be.

Mark awoke when the midday sun crept through the blinds. He noticed two things as the fog of sleep gave way to consciousness. Alex was completely sprawled out with her legs across his chest, and Callie was curled up at their feet completing the family unit. The night had passed without any more nightmares. He knew there would be more darkness in the future, but as always they would face whatever came their way together.


End file.
